…ready for more?

 

“Everything in nature is lyrical in its ideal essence, tragic in its fate, and comic in its existence.” – George Santayana

in the middle of a tile game earlier this evening with the company of three close friends, i burst out laughing. without antecedent, warning, or control. now where did that come from? just as i laughed so hard i had to lean forward and stick my face into the playing tiles on the table, i felt these distress signals going off in my head. bam! the ducts exploded and i started crying. not the grievous weepy kinda, but the loud bawlish type little kids make when their triple-decker icecream finds itself on the floor with a careless *splat*.

10 minutes post kooky outburst, i believe i looked eeriely similar to this: o_o

i probably freaked my buddies out, although they seemed pretty composed and resumed game once i was done wiping snot and tiles off my face. no words were exchanged, just occasional glances and sporadic smiles.

boy, what a day.

boom boom mushroom

 

“It’s just mushrooming out of control. It’s a little like 2, 4, 16, 132 type of thing.” – Don Dobesh

gooooo Obama! i know change will come, just not sure if it will be progressive or destructive. but we shall take a leap of faith, won’t we? now if we could just move on and quit dissecting Michelle’s dress. i don’t care what whomever is wearing as long as they do what they are supposed to do. gooooo Obama!

the great pumpkin

 

“Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn’t even the star of his own Halloween special.” – Chris Rock

i want a pumpkin patch. and uh, happy halloween.

not good enough

 

“We must free ourselves of the hope that the sea will ever rest. We must learn to sail in high winds.” – Aristotle Onassis

it’s daybreak. dawn. where the rooster goes cock-a-doodle-doo in the farmyard and morning dew rolls off leaves. it’s not that i just woke, more of i could not sleep.

status. a topic of contention. wealth and prosperity determines a man’s status and capability in the society and so it has its own importance which can not be overlooked. family background – a history of how we came to be. i am not wealthy, and i don’t have much of a family: an adulterous criminous father on the run, a mother who loathes to even look at me, an apathetic brother who jumped the ship soon as he could.

but i am better than all that. i love. i live. i save lives. if that isn’t reason enough for you to discount the fact that i am of poor status and look at me for the person i have grown to be, i will walk away. i will, eventually, surpass your great expectations and i won’t look back.

i am sailing in high winds.

#1. buy digi-clock

“Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.” – Winston Churchill

some nights are easy. you lay your head to the pillow and within minutes your breathing slows, unhurried and content as you are pulled into another three-dimensional world where reality is unimportant. perhaps you will stir a little when you feel an uncomfortable fullness of the bladder, but then again you might just go in your sleep and wake up in the morning, wet and dismayed.

some nights are tough. like little tomatoes in a bowl of garden salad, you get tossed and turned, sideways up and down. the second hand on that wall clock ticks so loudly you begin to wonder if you should replace it with a digital one the next day. then your mind wanders off and starts racing through questions like would pushing daisies really be canceled this fall please don’t cancel it i love that show would a petition help damn i should send petition emails right away, gasp and did i forget to close the refrigerator door oh my god i think i didn’t oh well i suppose i should get up and go check oh oh but before you could answer any of them the sun has shone in the windows and tanned your naked butt.

tonight, is a tough night. tick, tick tock

my cheek tastes like…

“In love, there is always one who kisses and one who offers the cheek.” – French Proverb

strawberries. freshly plucked strawberries with pearly morning dew still lingering on its plump red skin. first bite and you wince, a tinge of unripe sour invade your senses and surprises you as a sudden sweetness almost like golden honey drips down the smiley corner of your aching lips, aching for more. shades of pink spread a loving stain across your crisp white sunday’s best but you don’t mind at all, no you won’t because, that was the best damn kiss ever.

hehe. alright back on topic. so i finally got around to exploring parts of Singapore i have never been to. last week i visited art pieces at the SAM(Singapore Art Museum), but i believe i have left out 8Q SAM. it’s located at Queen Street, approx. 10 minutes walk away from the nearest MRT station Dhoby Ghaut. anyone interested to join me in my arty farty expedition? there’s this Japan Media Arts Festival coming up late November at 8Q SAM and i am adding that to my to-explore list. ooh it sounds so exciting, i can’t wait!

my three week vacation is half spent, and i am not wasting a second of it. the house is cleaned and tidied, and my belly is full from midnight aglio olio and sinful fudge brownies. i mentioned being accident prone lately, and now i have confirmed my doubts: someone is definitely voodooing me. keep your straight faces on people! i hit my head on the corner of a table, dropped half an oven on my foot, sliced my thumb on plastic bowls of cherry tomatoes, and last night i scalded my fingers whilst draining a boiling pot of edamame beans. or maybe i’m just an october klutz. i blame it on the over-commercialised halloween. i can’t venture into shopping malls without bumping into ghoulish masks or friking pumpkins that look like an edible remake of Chucky. sobs. i shall just hide at home till halloween blows over. sobssss.

trip to SAM

“As to modesty and decency, if we are simians we have done well, considering: but if we are something else – like fallen angels – we have indeed fallen far.” – Clarence Day

i went to the Singapore Art Museum last week. it was my maiden expedition to SAM, and i was disappointed to be told that artwork displayed in the galleries weren’t allowed to have their picture taken. those displayed prettily out in the walkways and gardens were few and sparse, so i’m just gonna share with you one of my favorite photo-takable piece.

Just Another Dharma – Jason Lim, 2007
Installation with porcelain, light bulbs and strings.

In this installation, some 1,000 press-moulded porcelain pieces of illuminated tear-shaped petals culminate in a lotus-inspired chandelier to symbolize “an architectural construct of prayers”; the notion of prayerful invocation being one that is often linked to feelings of anticipation and desire. These human sentiments when seen in the light of Indian concept dharma(the fundamental principle of the order of nature and existence), reveal the dual attributes of “hope”. Hope regenerates as much as it ruins. Hope liberates as much as it subjugates.

the beauty of this dharmic piece, despite treading the thin line between faith and folly whilst teasing the diametrical meaning of hope, sent a sententious butterfly into my belly.

Out the window – Aefiel, 2008
Goofing on the job, with table, couch, lamp and self.

I really liked this mural. If I ever move to a cold country, I want to look out my window and see similar things. The snow blurring lights from the apartments opposite gives me a festive holiday feel, and that kind of reminds me to think about ‘existence’.

*Author’s note: Pictures with compliments to Stranger. Many thanks for kindly lending use of her new DSLR!

what used to be

“I have a love affair with coffee. And tea, but mostly coffee.” – Aefiel

the old piano sits in its dusty silence, unplayed notes resonating drearily off the crumbling planks of painted wood. diminuendo, diminuendo, the breeze whispered wispy rustles through the broken window. it used to be a cafe here. a place of chicory quietude, save for the occasional tinkling of irenic keys on the piano. most evenings when the sun was getting ready for bed and customers were few, she would run into the garden behind and watch. she watches as the sun disappears, shining his last silvers of light on the autumn leaves sprinkled about like confetti. the maple trees and little persian flowers shone golden warm for a moment. then she does a self-cuddle with her tiny pale hands, embracing her sick body and her favouritest yellow summer dress. she shivers a little. seasons change but she stays the same, time holds no meaning to her except when it is evening and the sun begins to set. dolente, dolente, dolce.

demoiselle’s wagon

“Hitch your wagon to a star.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

demoiselle, hold my hand tight
i’m afraid i can’t,
bring me a glass of wine
now!
i shall be a drunk lady on a wagon
when the rickety starts with their bumpity bumps
fear will take a backseat
she will enjoy the ride with no seat belt
even if she falls off
hitch my wagon to a star
now!
yes demoiselle,

no more whys

today i feel like i have grown an inch, metaphorically speaking of course. whether that growth spurt is for the better or for worse, i can’t really tell. although i do know somewhere inside me the wind has settled, leaves are basking under the golden sun, and the occasional butterfly lands gracefully to stop and smell the daisies.

everyone likes to feel that they are in control of their lives, their emotions and of their needs. sometimes, the uncertainty sets in and we begin to panic, always searching for the next best rational solution to be in control again. but we don’t always have to hold our head over our hearts, do we? you will exhaust yourself swimming against the current to get to that shore. so let it go, and drift upon the river flow. spread your arms apart and float, listen to that water wading gently up against your ears. not forever, but just for a little while as you balance yourself out.

strangely, i feel like a tiny weed growing out of the cracks in a barren land. it hurts and sometimes it can be really difficult because solitude is not always as sturdy as it promises to be. today i will stop and smell the daisies, perhaps i’ll even pick one to put in my hair. i hope it lasts, that sweet floral scent of spring.